Wow, I had rather forgotten I even had this blog. If I had not been working over the last couple of days to clean up my social media, I may have not remembered it still. It has been just over 8 years since my last post. That is forever in the digital age, and yet these years have flown by at a speed that simply boggles the mind. So much has changed!
When I started this blog, I was a 32 year-old married stay at home mom of 4. But, I was so much more even then. I was one of the millions of people in this country who was in a domestically abusive relationship. I lied, a lot. I hid it well. He would tell me when I tried to challenge how I or the children were treated that we could not be being abused because look at all the nice things we had. Um, yeah I forgot that's how that part works! If you read my last post from May of 2018, you know something about how this story continued to unfold. By May of 2015, I had 6 children between the ages of 2 and 10, and I reached a breaking point. I realize now that even in that 2018 update, I still had so much work to do. I thought I had healed, figured it all out (which is the funniest idea of all looking back), and knew the trajectory of my life. I see that I still avoided any real conversation about what life was like leading to that day, or what exactly happened that started changing everything. I know that's a story I still need to tell, to share with others who may find themselves in a similar situation to where I found myself that day in 2015. I know this will sound like avoidance, but it isn't because if I share everything today, this one post would be about a novel long!!
So, this is my statement of commitment to get it all out there over the next few weeks, but for today, I want to provide a new and more honest introduction than the one I have shared in the past.
My name is Harli. I am 47 years old.
I have 2 babies in Heaven and 7 here on Earth. My babies in Heaven have been there for 25 and 10 years. My babies here are 21, 19, 18, 16, 14, 13, and 6. In other posts, I will tell you all about each one of them, where they are now, what they are doing, etc, but for today, let me stay on track with my introduction.
In February 2025, I married the first truly good man I have ever been in a relationship with. Our story is as messy and complex as most any other part of my life, but it's also so different than my previous relational experiences. This is a man who loves and supports me as I continue to change and grow. He loves all the children as if they were his own and I am thankful every day to have found him. As with the children, this is a story for another day, but it will be told.
I am a Christian. That's something I never thought I would say. Over the years I have looked at most every religion one could imagine. In the end, I decided the very concept of God was a lie because no all powerful, just being would have laid out the life I had lived for anyone He supposedly loved. I had embraced atheism in name, but in my heart I was just incredibly angry. How that changed is also another story for another day. I feel like I will be saying that a lot in this post!
I am a survivor! I have suffered an assortment of abuses from my very earliest memories, yet here I am still. Not only have I lived, but as I have healed and changed, I thrive.
I am a college graduate and also student. In May 2022, I returned to school to begin pursuing my BS in Psychology Pre-Counseling. I earned that degree in March 2022 and in April 2022 I began my MS in Marriage and
Family Therapy. I earned that degree in March 2024. I have maintained a 4.0 throughout the entirity of my journey to date. In just 9 days, I start my PhD in MFT program. If all goes according to plan, in 2031 I will graduate with my Doctorate.
I am currently waiting on the results of my national licensure exam. I am in the process of licensure in 2 states, Oklahoma and Texas. As soon as I recieve my passing score, I will be finishing the process and will hold an LMFT Candidate/Associate license in these states. Once I have my licenses, I will return to working at The Center for Christian Counseling and Care where I completed my internship.
I am a plus-sized woman. I'm nowhere near the size I was when I was last talking about my weight and constantly beating myself up over every ounce, but at 5'3 and 190 pounds, the label still fits.
I have physical disabilities. I am certain that the abuses my body has endured over the years is a contributing factor as well as the large amount of weight I carried for so long. I have arthritis in many parts of my body including my spine. There are days when even getting out of bed feels like a challenge, but I have faced and overcome challeges before so I get up every day, regardless of how painful it may be.
I'm a tattoed nerd! I currently have about 40 tattoos reflecting many of my passions. If you see my ink, there's not really any doubt of my nerdiness, lol My ink reflects my love of my family and fandoms. I attend comic conventions and cosplay.
Even all of this is just a small glimpse of who I am and who I am becoming. This life was built on the remains of who I was and the healing I have done over the years. I am excited to be back at my keyboard and sharing this journey. I look forward to walking this path wherever God leads me. My hope is that in sharing this, you may find strength, hope, and inspiration.
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