Things Have Gotten Out of Control

Okay, I am going to approach a couple of subjects that I have been avoiding like the plague!

First there is the subject of my knee.  As many know, in April of 2012, I fell on my knee.  I thought at the time no big deal.  I figured in a couple of weeks, I'd be good as new.  I was incredibly wrong!  I suffer from extreme pain every single day.  I can barely walk.  The swelling is so bad I can hardly bend my knee at times.  And, I am part of the in between so I have no insurance.  Because of that, I have continue to use my damaged knee until the damage is likely permanent.  We are trying to come up with compensating factors to help.  I frequently use a cane, I try to limit walking in general, and I take more Tylenol each week to try to stave off the intensive pain.  And, I cry, a lot.

Because of all of these things, I have been angry, bitter, and depressed.   Which leads me to the second subject.  Since every movement hurts, I don't work out at all anymore, and since I am depressed, I eat.  I am currently nearly 300 pounds!  I haven't been this heavy in a long, long time.  My clothes don't fit.  I wear pajamas and try to avoid leaving the house as much as possible.  But I realize this is not helping me.  It's a vicious cycle I have gotten into.  The more I weigh, the more stress it puts on my knee.  The more stress I put on my knee, the more it hurts.  The more it hurts, the less I do.  And, the less I do, the more I weigh!  So, obviously, something has got to be done.

Today is day one of a serious diet.  Unlike before were I still pretty well ate what I wanted and lost weight because I could exercise off the calories, now I have to stick to a low-cal diet if I want to get rid of the pounds.  I know this is going to be tough, but I hate the way I look and feel right now so something has to be done.  I have added a weight loss ticker back to the top of my page, and I will be logging bites again to track calories so I can get this weight off!

Hopefully, between the loss of weight and the mobility modifications, I can live life again instead of sitting on the side lines and crying.  Yesterday we took the kids to the zoo.  We spent the extra money to rent a motorized scooter for me.  It's the first time in nearly 18 months that we were there long enough to enjoy the zoo.  And, I was able to enjoy being there with my kids.  Best $25 we ever spent, lol.

I am praying that admitting my struggles will give me the strength to overcome them.

These Boys Are Stressing Me Out!

So, on Monday I took Mak and Tabi to the doctor.  The whole reason was to get them established with the new pediatrician so that if anything comes up (cold, rash, etc) they will not be a "new" patient and will get seen sooner.  Well, they found Mak has a heart murmur.  First I have ever heard of it.  But, anyone who knows my family medical history will know I am more than a little worried right now even though I know that 2/3 are innocent and nothing to be concerned over.

So, now on July 2, Mak has an echo-cardiogram and Al meets with the Ornithologist.  That is sure to be a busy day, but hopefully we will get some definitive answers about both boys.

A Roller Coaster Week

On Sunday we saw the damage a tornado could do on the town just 25 miles away.  A place we travel to frequently.  That of course was followed on Monday with an EF5 ripping through Moore.  Fortunately, those we know were not injured and their homes not completely destroyed.  Sadly, that was not the case for far too many of our Oklahoma neighbors.

Wednesday,  Al had his 2 month check up.  He has grown to a huge 22.8" and 13lb 3oz!  What a little chunker.  And, he went to the audiologist today.  He is still showing a flat line on the left ear when they do the tympometry.  But, when they did the Click test it came back as "gross normal hearing" in both ears.  So, we are no on to the ORL in July to see if we can figure out what is going on on that left side.  But, the upside is we know he hears some!

Then, as we got home, we discovered that the student who was involved in the accident last week, passed away last night.  Our hearts break for his family.

Like I said, it's been a real emotional week here.  Hopefully, next week brings more peace as we all could use the respite.

Exhausted from Relaxing

We had a great weekend in Tulsa.  We visited with my mom and her husband.  We swam and swam.  It was a lot of fun but we are totally worn out today.   I am still glad to be home again.  Dani is completely done with school for the year and Meli is done with math.  I think Nicci can be done with all of K by the end of May (she finished PK months ago).  Ready to wrap up the year and start vacation every day!

Finally Admitted I'm a Twit

Okay, I couldn't resist the title.  I have actually finally joined Twitter.  I know shocking that it took so long.  I'm @HQBArctophile if anyone wants to find me.

On another note, I am still trying to wait patiently for Monday to get here.  No matter what the news, some answers from the Audiologist on Al are better than not knowing for sure.

Still Trying To Wrap My Mind Around It

I haven't updated sooner because I have still been trung to come to terms with Al's latest dr experience.  We took him in for the more intensive hearing test on 4/12.  This one was done by an audiologist and lasted 45 minutes.  It also included a tympanometry test.  While I was fulling expecting him to pass with flying colors, instead he failed the test in both ears. 

I'll tell you the truth, I started to cry.  Anyway.  He has yet another even longer and more intensive hearing test on 4/29.  We should "know" more after that test.  But honestly, I think I already know what the results will be.  I still can't bring myself to say "those words" but, Al does not react to loud or unusual sounds around him.  No matter how much you talk to him, it does not seem to calm or comfort him at all.  He loves to be held and cuddled though.

I am still praying for different results.  I know that Al can still have a totally full and normal life, and I know there is still a chance that we will get results different than expected.  I'll update more when we "know" more.  For now, we just watch and wait.

Planning Ahead is Hard on the Heart

So, with all the recent craziness in our lives,  I have made out a will, requested a friend as guardian for our children, and I have written a letter to the kids as well.  I know it was the responsible thing to do, but it was so incredibly difficult.  I hate even thinking about anything possibly happening to me I while the babies are still babies.  At the same time, we would hate for something to happen and them to be set adrift with no clear thought out plan of what would become of them.  And, because there are 6 of them now, it takes a special caregiver to agree to take them all.  Anyway, I can't really say much more about it or I will be in tears again. 

I would like this post to serve as a public service announcement to any parent who reads my blog, I know it's tough to do, but make sure you have those papers in order in case of the unimaginable.  I know I will rest easier in my heart knowing that in that situation, my children will be taken care of.

Albrecht is Here!

Albrecht had his own schedule set up which threw things into a complete tailspin around here. This is our story:

As many of you know, I started having contractions on 3/12. They were what the dr deemed "non-progressive labor." That means, they were consistant but not increasing and not really making any changes in dialation etc. It was miserable. On 3/19 we went into OKC (about an hour from home but where my dr is located) to do some last minute shopping for the kids for things they might want while they were with the sitter. Things went fine but I was really tired all day. About 7pm we went to have dinner at one of my fovorite Chinese places. Let me say, dinner with 5 kids is always a slow affair. About 8 just as we where finishing up, all of the sudden it felt like something stabbed me in the center of my back. Not lower back, but actually the middle. In a minute it passed, but about 10 minutes later it started again.

I said it was fine, I was just super tired and needed to get home and get some rest. It was decided since we were already in the City, we should go ahead and call the dr. As luck would have it, my dr was on call. He agreed that since I was only 5 miles from the hospital it would be best to be checked out. So, thinking it was much to do about nothing, I went in. Imagine my suprise when I was dialated to a 3! At 38w 2d and being so far out with steadier and getting closer contractions, it was decided that it was indeed baby time.

We called the sitter and had her come into OKC to pick up the other kids. Because I was a csection, I was given some medicine to help neutralize stomach acid and encourage my digestion to speed along. Right after the sitter picked up the kids, I was taken to the OR.

Albrecht arrived at 12:41 am on 3/20/13. He was 8lb 11oz and 20". His initial APGAR score was only a 6 as he was retracting. NICU was called in but he stabilized quickly and his second APGAR was a 9. It took a long time for them to get me put back together but inside everything still looked good so we did not go through with the tubal.  Al's blood sugar was very low though we are unsure as to why. It ended up dropping down to 21 before we could get it back up. And, his hands and feet were very, very blue. They assured us it was not a cause for concern but of course, we still worried until it began to improve around day 2. He still has some blue cast in his feet, but nothing like it was.

Also, he has now failed the newborn hearing screening twice. At this point, he does not seem to hear out of his right ear. Again, we have been told not to worry as it does not necessarily mean a hearing loss and could just be fluid. We have been referred to a specialist for more extensive testing that will be scheduled around 1m.

So, we finally got home late Friday evening. I have been put on modified bed rest because we are having some issues with my incision opening up a little. We had to take Albrecht back in on Monday to get his referal started for his hearing. When we went in, we noticed that Albrecht was very, very yellow. That resulted in him being re-admitted to the hospital and placed under the bililights for 24 hours. It absolutely broke my heart to see him with the blinders on being poked and prodded to monitor his biliruben levels. But, at last we are home, I am still supposed to be on bedrest, and Albrecht is doing well. I swear, this is the child that will finally turn my hair grey, lol. I will try to keep you guys updated as we find out more about his hearing.

The Convience of Shopping Online

So this is my story of Site to Store shopping to the Seminole OK Walmart as we know the entire point of online shopping is the convience:

I am more than a little frustrated at this point.  It took 2 trips to pick up my new purple crock pot as the lady at site to store told me it wasn't in the first time.  I then called back and another person told me it was in.  So, we return to the store the next day (it's about 25 miles round trip for us) to be told it wasn't there again.  I insisted that they double check.  Sure enough, it was there.  Finally get it home, and guess what?  It's damaged.  One of the rivets on the foot is broken off already.  That means repacking it and a 3rd 25 mile trip and an alternate plan for dinner tonight as I crock pot cook a lot! 

Also, when I picked up the climber for the kids the day before, there was a large hole in the side of the box. I am hoping that nothing fell out and the item is complete (as assembly is required). Plus, the stocker that helped take the climber to the car was dressed in a tshirt that read "I'm pretty good at drinking beer". I'm sure that is just the corporate image Walmart wants to project!

This is not the first issue I have had with site to store at this location.  It is extremely frustrating to deal with!  At Christmas, my sister ordered a swing for my children and had it shipped site to store as well.  When I arrived to pick it up, it couldn't be found.  They said the only thing they could do was refund the money to my sister and let her reorder.  Instead I had my sister send us a gift card for the purchase price and the kids got a picture of a gift for Christmas because thanks to the Seminole OK store, there was no swing.  

 Every time I try to pick something up at this location it takes forever!  I have been told under no circumstances am I to order anything else to the Seminole store.  This is so ridiculous!  The next closest store is in Shawnee and about 40 miles round trip for us! I thought shopping online and picking up in store was supposed to make buying from Walmart easier.  I have found it to be anything but.  Very disappointing!

Following Promptings

I have done so poorly about updating my blog lately!  I better get better at this.  Let's start with some updates:


Mak is a potty training champ!  He is even staying dry at night.  Our biggest obstacle has been learning not to tinkle on ourselves when we use the regular potty.  Last night we had our first victory at that!  I haven't even approached the stand and aim idea yet, but he does super good sitting.

I have felt prompted to make getting completely our of debt a top priority.  It will mean some sacrifices, but I know that in the end it will be well worth it!  Currently, we have no mortgage on the house, but we have a huge amount of credit card debt, and a note on our van.  We believe that with some hard work, we can be debt free in 3 years.  So, that is our new goal.  Our first hurdle will be taking our tax refund and using it to pay off some debt instead of as play money.  And, we will also be tightening our budget and trying to put some into savings every month.  This is something we have never done!   I will try to keep you updated on our progress.  Perhaps that will help keep me on track?